trying to look nice and presentable going out.
trying to do my projects in 2 weeks time.
trying to concentrate on de reality n drift away from fantasy.
trying to figure out what is the real me.

pushin things out of my mind, not wanting to get hurt anymore.
this is being selfish..

dun ask me how's life..


失去了才知道什么是最重要
听说你快回到她身边了
好好爱她
一定要幸福





realisation is a gift.
finally.





reached home at 2 pm...
it started to drizzle very lightly..
i couldn differentiate between raindrops and teardrops.

忘记你 爱我的原因
明天起 我不认识你
我会鼓起勇气
爱情很美丽
可是也很无情
我相信 我可以
去争脱那些回忆

hmm, thanks jie sung for calling me wen i her..
at least wen i nid some1..
even for dat short 5 minutes conversation..
thanks.. =)

im home..
nothin much to do..
i can sleep.

drinks.. sud hav drank dat day we met up..
mite juz make ppl feel better..




i nv seen him or heard from him again.




如果从来一遍 我们能走多远
时间不断重复着思念
距离台北纽约 我们分隔两边
划分我们之间的界线

我恨我当初没有把你留下
我不该以为自己很伟大
听着你说对于未来的梦想
你说想去闯 我不该阻挡

你过的好吗 有比我好吗
是否还像从前的任性模样
还习惯一个人住吗
独立让人成长 我相信
你有双坚强的翅膀

你过的好吗 还会爱我吗
听说你身边多了个爱你的她
她应该对你很好吧
代替我的肩膀 照顾你
快乐的飞翔
如果能够从来一遍 我们能走多远




i juz felt dat something is not right.
from de moment i heard de bang and de car crash into the motorbike.
de driver fell.. he picked himself up after 1 min.
trying to get back into the situation...

i was wondering..
my mind starts to flash.
dat i wont b seeing you..
not anymore.
its tiring to hold on.
3 more days.
merely friends.




went out wif a new fren of mine.
BenNy..
watched a action movie..
called sha po lang..
actually wanna catch excorcism of emily rose.
but dere wasn any slots for dat..
i told u lot 1 is ulu..
and indeed a very COLD yet ulu cinema..

this is the 1st time watching a action movie wif 4 male leads and no female actress
and i cried..
man.. grown up man can act pretty well, n de plot is pretty touchin.
shows their pride and loyalty for brotherhood yea.
im glad i restrained myself from grabbing him..
or else i'll regret again..
cos is rellie freezing in dere..
i can sense de shivers..

yupz, anyw we went to eat sakae..
de bof of us ate lik pigz..
n i mean real pigz.

hmm. im rellie bored..
not by him.. but by my life..
isn dere supposed to b something intriguing and fascinatin to boast bout?
i guess not..
juz tumblerz and tumblers of misery and stupid waiting..
kind of sad huh..
but what to do..
it still carries on, draggin as if dere's nothin to live for.
waiting for dat spark to ignite de fire of life..
im glad..=D

please.. lemme know some things at least..




its DanNon's burfday!!
hmm, sho sadz, no one to celebrate for him..
shall get him a super cute prezzie..
hurhur.. i cant believe wads up my sleeve.. heh..

happie happie buRfdAy!!!
muackz..

hmm, went to k yest wif minshan, yean ling n mengsy..
wow wow.. i miss de times together.
cant wait to meet up again!!!
=)
miss u miss u miss u..
meet up! meet up! meet up!






most of them had finished their A levels.
this time its for real..

it has already ended.
i juz seem to accept this fact yet.
mayb cos i've been out of touch wif de kind of mudane lifestyle.

im on my own. rellie.
feeling independent.

hmm, i dunno why..guess i've been thinkin too much..
stressing myself n gettin myself worried bout wads goin to happen..
of cos nothin is goin to happen..
silly gal.
i mite juz get out of this soon.
i rellie think i would if i worked a a litter harder.
and concentrating on those who's been standing by.
quite gotten used to this kind of lifestyle.
maybbie i sudn change at all.
juz remain lik dat..

NotHin iS goIng to ChaNge..
bU shI mA.

take care my friend.




this time im sure i want to dream of you.

当初彼此 不够成熟坦白
热情不在 笑容勉强不来。

我的脸上 始终侠带 一抹浅浅的无奈。

爱你穿越时间， 我要得只是你在我身边。






i dreamt of constable ah cai again,
felt kinda weird y i dreamt of him.
and de scenes look kinda sweet.

im not sure to b happie or sad..
cos b4 i slept i alwiz tell myself i wanna dream of _____
but they alwiz turn out to b someone else.

and dat funny constable ah cai so bu yao lian say i'll fantasize bout him.
eekz...

anyw..
wen i went home i saw de bottles of sodium phosphate and sachet of fortrans lying on my dining table.
i din expect dat i've been giving it to so many ppl n not feeling a thing, but now daddy had to go for de test..
plus blood ocult stool test..
appointment for colonyscopy..
they all had cancer..
in de terminal stage.. passed away last nite..
it wouldn happen right?
this wouldn happen again. tell me it wont happen..

have no idea what awaits..




毁坏的沙雕如何重来, 有裂痕的爱如何重盖？

ponder upon de words above..
miss u miss u darling loads... =(

if only i din asked,
if only i din get to know.
i would have lived de remaining days in peace.
now im so afraid.
u're goin so far away..




我想念去年的冬天
下着雪的那一夜
你给的温柔
紧握的双手
温暖整个寒冬
失去了曾经的拥有
在你离开以后
带走了笑容
只留下寂寞
忘了幸福是什么
没有你的夜特别的漆黑
只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜谁在你身边
代替了那个从前

能不能再听一次你说爱我
回到还在你怀里的时候
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔

this is the lyrics of this song. super nice.. n meaningful!!!
my top most favourite..




hmm,
late into de nite,
here i m gossiping wif 2 guys.
yest i received 2 wrong number calls.
bof at nite.
at 12 am some more.
was sitting at de bed waiting for my hair to dry..
de surprising thing is, de number is ______ no.
callin to ask for a _ _ _ _ _.
i know who he is,
buts he called de wrong number.
i almost din want to pick up de call..

shocked me.
i've got lik 5 projects on my hands now.
its rellie tiring..

n i've got dates pending..
wif all my frens after de A's dats ending SOON.

i think i've been repeating like dozens of tmes.
i juz miss them loads.

i love de nite sky..
giving me ample time to go thru my life.
what m i goin to do.
my plans in life.
i have none right now.
::muackx::

countdown-20days
it seems lik my days are numbering.
my death date is coming.
i duno if i wanna live till then.
spending de remaining days in a imaginary world




hmm, dere are some enquiries im curious bout,
but i cant ask..
it seems so weird juz to ask..
anyw its none of my business,
it would b too busybody for me to ask..
we're not dat close too..

i've ran out of ideas.
what sud i do?

de class is not rellie bonded..
3 is left out..
rellie left out..
sudn we feel sympathetic for them.
it mite not b their fault.its not fair.
mayb they've changed.

loved you more than i tot i would.
its not cute anymore.




what a laugh,
my macro tutor is a joker.
mr zai zai.
de whole class luff thru out de lesson.
thou its a pretty long day today.

loaned harry potter soccerer stone at de library today.
watched halfway n gotta go for tutorial le. =(
its kinda amazing, i remembered i watched b4.
but still i forgot de whole story.

hmm, add ons, my tutor nephew actually is my neighbour.
and he kps goin on n on how he hopes he'll find a gf among us.
and we were like, er hem.. *coughs*
he's pretty cute anyway.

ok, my hair is getting from bad to worse wif the stupid frizzy thing..
n i promise to go for treatment wif joycie PLUS hmm, i dunno wanna rebond again not..

hmm, dere aint anything interesting in sch today.
nor anywhere. juz another boring sch day.
counting down-24 days [sho miserable]




listen to this song,
captivated by it.
one of de songs from SHE's zhen ming tian nu ost..

im still so affected. hmmz.
ur rellie sud go watch andy lau's movie.
thumbs up =)
really sweet n touching..
watch wif ur loved ones.
let them know dat u cherish them.

dere's lik so many projects coming up,
and half of them is juz similar to pw.
imagine havign to do so many pws in less den 2 months.
dats like alot of work.

n i hav to cater to dates by frens too.
which my dearest min shan has aredi booked,
not forgetting 04A41..
n i cant wait to see pingx.
i havn see u since de earthquake erupted yah.
hee. meant to b a lie to dupe our gullible little ms wan ping.

hmms, anyw i realise dat christmas is coming super soon..
im leaving..
im goin to abandon this place.
absconded into a world of freedom n no more waiting..

its time to grow up and leave de world behind.
let's go..




had a nice poa tut juz now.
cos i juz simply love that subject..
n i start to love my class more n more..
tmr we'll be havin a french manicure fair, not during lecture of cos.
not forgetting goin to organise a post christmas party.. yayz..

hmm, went to watch andy lau's "all bout love" movie juz now.
de one wif cute charlene choi..
i promised not to cry..
hmm still i cried leh.
cos its like super sad n meaningful..
to spend more time n cherish ur loved one b4 they're gone..
i tot i din cry, till i realised 2 big tear drops roll down my cheeks..
trying hard to hide.
watched at jec..
a memorable place..
but different companion..
a very weird feeling..
dat makes my mood so bad..
i started to think alot.

a story to share:
one dere's a old couple.
lao gong gong likes to walk in big strides at fast pace..
lao po po cant catch up, but she cont hurrying in her small quick steps.
so in their life, they cont this lifestyle..
lao popo kp following lao gong gong..
its bcos of their love for each other dat both nv give up..
does this kind of love still exist?
waiting..
i duno wad im waiting for,
probably waiting for de day my heart stops beating for you.




i lost all de preious entry, cos de internet blackout on me.
means, this is a retyped entry.

anyw, im looking forward to 26nov 04a41 class nite outing/cycling.
wif my darlings cyan, yi zhi, yanxi, xiaohui, n lovely peeps..
i cant wait..

yupz, as usual i went for fri's lesson alone.
but it isn as bad as i expected.
de gals r super nice.
n de teacher had a nice gossip session wif me..
regarding sajc's sch life..
its so much different from my life now..
wad a change.
ya perhaps i've change alot.

anyw, i love eating Mos burger now.
alwiz had de urge to eat it.
esp mayonise terriyaki.. yummy..
i dun mind travellign jux to buy it alone lik i alwiz does.
no deal having to do things alone.
im growing up..
i still rem u bot this weird taste strawberry shake..
haah great memories, great bus rides.. great skills.
hmm, ya they're oni memories.

things change n ppl change too..
feelings? of cos for some ppl.

i miss de memories.. i miss de movies..
i miss de feelings..
im afraid time passes so fast.. they juz come n go.

bold italics underline



please.



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