usually when things go wrong.. something nice is supposed to b on the way rite? no.. its not true.. the whole world is going hay wire for me..the idea of banging the wall is really very close.. today release O levels results..my sis got 7 points.. my cousin got 10 points.And i can hear my parents talking bout it.. Our results.. Wen i tell em i got 12, they ask me, really not? u check properly again..but its not the same for my sisters.. im juz born to b dumb in this clever family.. i dun belong here..and u're too good for me le,whereas im juz a sch drop out.. i know u care, u care about status.. whenever ppl ask, its lik, hwa chong, national junior college.. "wah".. as for me.. oh.im a sch drop out.. i wonder if i belong to this family.. i suddenly got the urge to leave home and go away n nv come back..i nv want to come back.. tmr im going to apply for my course.. i suddenly felt so stupid and dumb..cant even pass promos.. wad hav i been doing? i really aught to be beheaded..
felt so despised by people..in addition, juz now i went to find louis after work.. din wan to go home.. so i stayed till 9 plus.. he told me some things.. y r u so guilty if u've nv done anything wrong?is this really wad u think of me?dat i'll go ard telling everyone bout u?even in the past, i dint..ppl juz came up wif the opinion themselves.. n i even tried my best to protect ur so called image infront of fiona and jie sung..u wont believe anyway..m i really dat evil in ur heart?m i those kind of bitch? or even slut?did so much and din expect a thank you..Juz hope u will feel happie and understands everything. and i was so shocked wen Mr Lee said thanks to me instead.. i really broke down wen i heard from louis..i dun wish to explain anymore.. im tire..im tire of misunderstandings.. know the meaning of breaking down? wen ur brain nerves seems connected in the wrong way.. sitting lik a piece of rubbish in the bus and crying and singing.. crossing and standing in the middle of the road thinkng dat the lights from the oncoming cars are actually very sparkling and nice.. actually i got alot of things on my mind.. i need someone to hug.. to talk to.. i couldn find any.. i found my bolster and my diary.. couldn even find someone to talk to.. felt like an idiot.. a friendless idiot.. an irritating one..i could oni hug my bolster and cry out loud.. if given a chance.. i wouldn wan to come to this world.. i will study really hard n b a full time nerd.. SERIOUS.. i dun need anything else wen u dun even care.. i juz need a clear mind.. i need to focus.. But my mind is alwiz a whirl.. full of dreams and impossibles.. i dun need ur pity, i dun need ur sympathy.. Anything else really doesn matters anymore.. its not important anymore..Nothing is important to me anymore.. i juz wan to catch the stars and the moon..n nv wake up again.. i hate katherine!




Sorry for bothering, i will disappear from now..




kiss me & i'll be yours forever..




blogging here in the middle of the nitex. i guess i really hav nothin to do. cant get to sleep anyway.. but im goin to right after this entry..hmm.. i wanna retrieve my blog pic.. de gurl kissing de guy de.. its super sweet lah.. i swear next time my wedding photo i oso wan one to b lidat de.. muz hav many many.. *shO sWeEtZ* im melting already..i cant help thinking of my future.. how its gonna b like.. last time i love to b single, cos there is lots of freedom. but now, not so anymore.. mayb im getting hua chi again le.. cos i've learn something again.. but its not hua chi lah.. mayb im a very traditional women? haha.. oopx..
and i love to sing this song..
i love u
u love me
we are happie family,
wif a big hug and a kiss from me to u, muackx.
u can say u love me too..

today, i act happie again.. i dun like this feeling..
i hate pretending..i hate myself..
Thanks for giving me a chance to wait, it may not b important to u,
but its very precious to me..
Juz like what kc says, put everything on hope..
i hope, i wish and i pray..




RelAx and SmiLeX ... *wInkX*




i will get use to this kind of life. becos of my character.. i will adapt to it.. actually acting happie isn hard at all.. u juz tell urself u're happie.. and u'll b happie.. at least for a while.




thanks kok for ur care n concern.. today ur 3 part time gfs met leh.. and now i shi sheng le.. is voice hor, not body.. sobz sobz.. need to c doc tmr le.. anyway, i'll persevere on de.. jia you.. n thanks to this fren whom i've been tokin to..its a she ok?? u reallie made me feel better and understand alot more dat i nv know, and telling me some stories which i'll nv get to hear.i get a clearer picture now dat i hav these views in my mind.. cant wait to c u thou we're so much distance apart.. anyway.. thanks.. i know what i want, i really love him.. but this is a little difficult to describe. perhaps since both of us are geminis dats y we're so alike as in we're not so much gemini character.. really love talking to u.. cos u seem to understand me.. *wInkX*

"We were once like strangers, we were once close. Friendship is subtle, its difficult to describe it in a few words. Since he has acknowledge his new romance, the double J romance is no longer important. I'll always be his good friend" this is from joLin..

Is it so true? well, a r/s is between 2 ppl, i guess its better for em to resolve it on their own.. But wadever it is, b true to yourself, ai qing lei le, que zhi dao shi zhen ai jiu bu hui zou diao.. shi zhe yang ma? i still believe love needs no reason.. really.. i juz like the way you are..i still love you..

im juz back from the doc's.. even thou i cant talk, but some feelings can b felt in the heart.. it cant b seen, cant b touched but it can b felt deep from the heart.. dunno y i so sad oso.. cheer up kathie katz.. smilez, will u?




those who hate me, one good news. im mute.. stupid sore throat.. i cant even talk.. argz..




woke up this morning feeling a little groggy.dere's something stuck to my throat.. so ahem, my throat felt so sore and uncomfortable.. was supposed to meet jie sung at 1130. but due to the sudden wake up at 1 23am from louis call.. tok on the fone till 420 before i get back to my sleep again..i was feeling really bad. dont even feel like going out.. And what's worst is that i have to take a long walk to the bus stop outside.. so i can imagine myself staggering and draggin my feet.. almost feel like blanking out and never wake up again.So we met up and do our stuffs and walk around.. nothin much. very very much feel like returning home to rest. it must be the bad weather. and lack of sleep.. so i reached home at 3. and i hurriedly swallowed all the pills and lozenges i could find.. the lozenges tastes really bad.. i can still rem sucking it wen im asleep.. feel like puking man.. and i sleep till 710 before i drag myself out of bed again to bathe.. Being sick is so miserable.. i really hopes i get well soon.. Now i know how wonderful it feels when you have someone who is dere to care for you wen u're down and sick.. The feeling is terrible and the song yi shi de mei hao kps ringing in my ears.. cant help crying myself to sleep again..wondering how many dozen times i've to cry a day..im sorry.. i really duno wad to say. hav been thinking alot these few months to get what i want.. honestly.. i really dont feel like staying in singapore anymore.. i've been thinking i've to go thru it.. its juz a matter of whether i tries hard enuff.. but louis tells me to live in the past.. im going to try my best.. even if it has to take this lifetime to forget.. wo hui hen nu li hen nu li de..




Because im a woman..

回家的路总是很远 话少得很可怜
一个人的晚餐 都是孤单的滋味
看见身边重复上演 属于我们的画面
选择逃避的眼 怎么还是会流泪
爱着你的每一天 你就是我的世界
那时候还以为我 就爱这一遍
没有你的每一天 快乐离我好遥远
心已随你走了 还能用什么感觉
我舍不得睁开眼睛 害怕身边没有你
也许在梦境里 是我们最近的距离
想念你温热的手心 冷风里把我握紧
当冬天又来临 这温度该怎么延续
谢谢你曾经爱过我 给我最美的经过
但生命最爱被剥夺 未来的路该怎


Do you still remember this song? The first time under the moonlight.. The scenario.. Listening to this song, "because im a woman"

Its impossible to go back, that's why we have to start from the scratch.. All over again..




遗失的美好

海的思念绵延不绝 终于和天 在地平线交会
爱如果走得够远 应该也会跟幸福相见
承诺常常很像蝴蝶 美丽的飞 盘旋然后不见
但我相信你给我的誓言 就像一定会来的春天
我始终带着你爱的微笑 一路上寻找我遗失的美好
不小心当泪滑过嘴角 就用你握过的手抹掉
再多的风景也从不停靠 只一心寻找我遗失的美好
有的人说不清哪里好 但就是谁都替代不了
在最开始的那一秒 有些事早已经注定要到老虽
然命运爱开玩笑 真心会和真心遇到




Mayb you're more suitable for him..




ok look guys.. im going to solve this misunderstanding.. though not many read my blog.. dat guy, royston whom i went to the carnival wif is not my boy friend. He's just a primary sch mate of mine..and we juz came together cos we just came together.. yup its so simple.. so stop asking me ok.. so if any of you are interested i can help to intro.. argz..
juz dont ask me that qn can le.. thanks alot.. and
jackie, dun b jealous of pingz.. i know teck ching and chun kiat came..bought balloons for pingz haha.. but i din noe teck ching whom disappeared so long ago still rem wor.. surprise SuRprIsE wen he says halloz.. yUckz..
i just hate sAs guys.. losEr..
anyway, i seriously think we've neglected hsien yest..
hEre, i solemnly apologise for neglecting you my dear kok hsien.. we meet for lunch and a match of badminton soon k? wif dal and aAroN of cos..

im going out le.. yay.. spending the night out..goin for a sPin.. sHhhH =)




lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?
Man : I can't tell the reason.. but I really likeyou..
Lady : You can't even tell me the reason...how can you say you like me?
How can you say you love me?
Man : I really don't know the reason, but Ican prove that I love you.
Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason.
My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you arebeautiful,because your voice is sweet,because you are caring,because you are loving,because you are thoughtful,because of your smile,because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man's answer. Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and became comma. The Guy then placed a letter by herside, and here is the content:

Darling, Because of your sweet voice that I love you...
Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your care and concern that I like you..
Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your smile,because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move?No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.
Do love need a reason? NO!Therefore, I still love you...And love doesn't need a reason" Sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart.


One more thing i want to add myself. Sometimes, things that you can never have will be the most beautiful thing that you will treasure.Cos once you have it, it will never be the same again.. isn it??




yest nite i went to bed at 1030.. tried my very best to count sheeps, pigz, wadever.. but its fruitless.. finally at 3 plus.. i discover a magical solution... i went down to my kitchen to find medication.. panadol, flu, swelling.. cos they alwiz says eat medicine le will feel drownsy rite.. heh.. think im super clever.. pop 3 of it and i slept very soon.. i know its a bad example.. but its done under my expertised experience.. haha.. but i still got dark rings.. sobz.. but this is the onli solution dat works..




也许会恨你 我知道我的脾气不是很好 也许不一定 我知道我还是一样爱着你 打开一瓶红色的酒 看着金鱼游来游去 是否我们都想要自由 我没有关系 你可以假装没事离开这里 一切好安静 我只是想把情绪好好压抑 到底谁会先说再见 我知道我一定哭泣 走的时候记得说爱我 爱我 说爱我 说爱我 难道你不再爱我 我的泪 滴下来 你从来不曾看过 为什么 为什么 爱情让人变沉重 没有人 告诉我 原来不是我想象 不要回来 你已经自由了 我也已经自由了




我到了这个时候还是一样 夜里的寂寞容易叫人悲伤我不敢想的太多 因为我一个人 迎面而来的月光拉长身影漫无目的地走在冷冷的街 我没有你的消息因为我在想你 爱我别走 如果你说 你不爱我不要听见你真的说出口 再给我一点温柔 爱我别走如果你说 你不爱我 不要听见你真的说出口再给我一点温柔 我到了这个时候还是一样夜里的寂寞容易叫人悲伤 我不敢想的太多因为我一个人 迎面而来的月光拉长身影漫无目的地走在冷冷的街 我没有你的消息因为我在想你 爱我别走 如果你说 你不爱我不要听见你真的说出口 再给我一点温柔爱我别走 如果你说 你不爱我 不要听见你真的说出口再给我一点温柔 (music) 爱我别走 如果你说 你不爱我不要听见你真的说出口 再给我一点温柔 爱我别走如果你说 你不爱我 不要听见你真的说出口 再给我一点温柔

i love this song. its super nice... thUmbS uP!!




Kathie kat: i woke up at 3 24am to water my precious cactus.. finally managed to force my self to slp at 630am.. ^duhz..




i stay at home 24 hours a day helping my ma to pluck dat 30cents beansprouts.. ~bored~




i stay at home 24 hours a day helping my ma to pluck dat 30cents beansprouts.. ~bored~




im back..
i ate so much prawns im thinking will i become a prawn in my next life to b eaten up by ppl like me.. sobz..
i read the bible everynight b4 i slp.. thinking bout the distance.. m i crazy?




Pisces in Love February 19-March 20) 2001 Linda Rankin Pisces is the mutable water sign and very much exist in their own universe, tuned into the emotional, receptive qualities of life that most of us cannot see, touch nor feel. In love they are dream filled and romantic, full of enchanted visions and hopeful fantasies. They're eager to share their thoughts and reveries when they feel secure, understood and appreciated. Of all the signs Pisces needs the most encouragement to feel true within themselves and to learn the validity of their own thoughts and needs. They make the most delightful companions and are generally soft, gentle and easy going, especially if they have a role model to look up to within the relationship. This is a delicate balance that Pisces learns to control as they go through life as their projections onto their mate can be helpful if it encourages them to motivate their own lives and resources but can turn into tenacious co-dependency if the Pisces refuses to embrace their own lives, needs and thoughts. They can be confusing creatures never able to define their roles within the relationship and constantly turning to sources outside of the union for definition and explanation. This can slowly erode the bond between the lovers/partners as the partner. A Pisces encouraged to find and embrace their answers within themselves and one who has learned to trust their own thoughts, feelings and perceptions make one of the most loving, sensual and devoted mates their is.Pisces Sexuality: Pisces sexuality is always wrapped around those inner worlds they exist in and becomes an emotional experience that can take them on voyages into ecstasy and passion. But because they do exist within this world where things are nebulous, mystical and emotion oriented if they are projecting outwards to find validity of what they are seeing and feeling inside rather than combining the experience of the physical intimacy with the thoughts and dreams they can feel disappointed...or saddened. If they've learned to simply using what is inside to inspire their participation in the literal reality based world they can take their lover on their enchanted voyages with them..and create an exciting and enchanting sexual companionship.The long term story: There is a certain amount of inner strength combined with outer strength that is needed when involved long term with a Pisces, as they must learn to become their own sources of joy, inspiration and answers. A weak mate who goes along with every Piscean whim or fantasy is as destructive as a mate who cannot see the validity of those things they are experiencing internally. One can create a union with no solidity or reality underneath of it and the other can cause the Pisces to further doubt their own truth and inner strength. At the best the Pisces brings to the relationship a touch of all that is universal and mysterious. They are dreamy, poetic and romance filled beings who make life a true sojourn through the world of feelings and passions. At worst they release any semblance of inner belief and become attached to the partner or other form of projection in an attempt to capture outside..what goes on inside.Positive Traits in Love: Playful, friendly, spontaneous, open minded, caring, devoted, liberal, understanding, tolerant, benevolent.Negative traits: Erratic, undependable, self oriented, cold, aloof, mean, self centered, unable to commit, judgmental, fickle.What a Pisces likes:Romance, Feeling appreciated, Stability, Feeling needed, Mystical settings/enchantment, Being encouraged to dream, Sharing thoughts/dreams, Having their input valued, A role model, Feeling lovedWhat a Pisces Dislikes:Feeling vulnerable, Feeling alone/unloved, Having no goals to project towards, Feeling invalidated, Being ignoredCrude/harsh behavior, Noisy scenes/displays, Having no dreams, Having no sense of structure Pisces Love Keywords:Mystical, enchanting, emotional, loving, devoted, reverent, creative, confused, depressed, irresponsible, goal-less, lack of motivation or push, co-dependency issues.

omg its so true.. next time muz check all the horoscope le..





Gemini in Love May 21-June 21) 2001 Linda Rankin Gemini is the mutable air sign ruled by the planet Mercury and that describes much of their lively and thought oriented approach to love. They treasure being mentally captivated, excited and dynamically active and the mates they choose tend to be friends, first and foremost, and lovers second. Being able to share and discuss new thoughts, new ideals and everything they conceive and learn is an important quality they need to have in place within a relationship. This is the talkative, communicative sign and their minds are constantly sifting through information. As such they often speak before they think and their words, usually not intended to hurt, can fall flat when they fail to carry through on an intention or promise. A lover often feels left behind and unimportant as the Gemini discovers a fascinating new subject or person to explore and words from the past become empty and hurtful. At their best, however, a Gemini lover is the most fascinating, joyful and enjoyable partner of the zodiac. When that is backed up by their own feelings of wholeness and completeness (often the very thing they are seeking from a partnership) they are dynamic and loyal mates.Gemini Sexuality: Sex is a mind voyage for most Gemini's and they experience the height of their passion through their thoughts and what the feelings mean to them. They are open minded and experimental ,yet not necessarily driven by passion to try out the new techniques and adventures, but more out of the hungry curiosity that propels them to simply...discover something. They bring their wit and laughter directly into the bedroom and can be disheartened (and even shocked) that their partners may not always go along with their ever present sense of humor. Their lust and their needs tend to come and go with speed and suddenness and they can turn off as quickly as they turn on. Gemini's seldom wait for anyone and that includes a lover who takes a little more time to feel stimulated.The long term story: Gemini's need friendship and companionship and a partner who can share their mind explorations and journeys as deeply as they need a lover and heart mate. They generally need someone who is secure or open enough to not feel threatened by their quickly changing interests or whole hearted experiments but one who can also help them ground out to penetrate one of their intrigues in depth. Because Gemini is a dual sign they often project part of them when they are attracted to a mate and the relationship becomes an external way for them to work towards their merging of their two very different sides. This polarity creates an intriguing and exciting spark in the beginning of the relationship but can burn out once the Gemini has 'owned' up to its other half or has grown bored and retreated back within self.Positive Traits in Love: Joyful, good natured, broad minded, experimental, radiant, friendly, enthusiastic, flexibility, gentleness.Negative traits: Unreliability, fickleness, duality, insincerity, self focus, restlessness, critical and temperamental. What a Gemini likes:Intellectual stimulation.Ideas and thoughts.New trends to investigate.Friends and socializing.Talking.Sharing ideals.Learning.Upbeat, lively mates.What a Gemini Dislikes:Routines and ruts.Feeling ignored.Being confined.Apathy.Being the one to make all the decisions.Slowness.Being directed. Gemini Love Keywords:Friendly, mind oriented, spontaneous,verbal, joyful, experimental, open minded, enthusiastic





im learning how to play canon in d.. a nice piano piece.. i've finished right here waiting.. but still not good.. i tried very hard le.. and im still trying to play it well.. canon in d is 10 times harder.. but i wanna learn, cos its the song from the movie, my sassy girl.. i juz wan to learn it.. tried for a day le.. my skills are very bad i think.. but im gonna master it.. for a simple reason.. im willing to put my heart into everything.. i've given my heart away..





im such an evil ger.. perhaps i rellie need to get use to loneliness ba.. so isolated.. so alone.. its juz a matter whether i'll get use to it.. and get away from my previous habits? din i tried hard enough? some habits are hard to kill.. esp wen they're so sweet.. i wan to continue wif my old habits.. can i? im so selfish.i know.. but i cant help it.





im such an evil ger.. perhaps i rellie need to get use to loneliness ba.. so isolated.. so alone.. its juz a matter whether i'll get use to it.. and get away from my previous habits? din i tried hard enough? some habits are hard to kill.. esp wen they're so sweet.. i wan to continue wif my old habits.. can i?

bold italics underline



please.



tagboard. cbox recommended.

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