moshi moshi.im sho sleepy,but i gotta finish my econs essay b4 i can slp w/o feeling guilty..den can hav nice nice dreams n slp peacefully le.todae was quite a boring dae in fact.my ma n sisters all go watch e crowded n noisy ndp preview.i wonder wads so nice bout dat.hafta go squeeze wif e crowd n i hate dat e most lor.watch fire works oni mah.i can create a small one myself too!well,todae wanted to go out n plae de,but cant find any ppl to accompany me.in e end i pei mi mama go farm to make some offerings b4 deciding my programmes for e day. Rich isnt free, den i dated william n jackie..went to sch to find em n shun bian peep at him.purposely walk dere to look at my eye candy.wahaha.actually on e bus i coincidentally bum into da ming n kokyen.dey go queensway buy things mah.so at least got ppl pei me tok, not so bad after all.den aft dat meet e 2 freaks le, we went down to town.plaza singapura to walk walk n to eat.hafta settle my dinner outside.so we went to hav a walk, but william haf to rush off for a movie, n jackie has got a important last min matter wif a fren.he seem rather troubled.i wonder wads wrong wif him? he looks very very sad.so bof of em has got smthg on.i've been having mac for e past few days.im getting FAT!! hmm so i ask jackie to go find his fren since dey need to settle smthg. n william rushed off to settle his movie.n bof o em apologize to me.well its ok guys, we'll still hav loads of chances to go out again de.so i went back to tk a bus all by myself.e first time in life i ever felt so lonely. pingz was sick.having high fever.i pray she will get well soon.i left orchard ard 615..but wen i reach hm its aredi 8..i wonder how in e world did i took so long to go home.did alot o thinking wen i was on e bus.was alone mahz. den listening to ocean's songs.sctually wanted to stop at boarding sch to wait for him.but i did not. i wonder y?i rellie wish to see him, guess im too lazy.was waiting for him to reply, but he did not. so i left for home.heard bout sm things from william,wonder if its true.i wonder wad i shld do.but it shouldn affect me cos i shld trust him n not believe some stupid rumours.i felt a pang of guilt swept over me..how could i actually wanted to believe it?for i believe its not true.n aft dat i heard sm things from pingz.i did sm thinking again.does other's opinions affect me dat much?timothy once said can tk it for reference, but do not b too bothered by it. for u mite regret believeing or not believeing it.m i rellie not suitable? i rellie rellie wonder..m i doin him harm?teachers oso wonder.to believe or not to believe? im so confused..wad's e next step i shld do?can some one pls help me?





HOW TO TELL IF A GUY LIKES YOU:
1. The guy will be extremely nice to you.
2. He will tell you that you did something good, even whenyou did it horribly.
3. He might make fun of you.
4. He will want to be your best friend.
5. He might complement you on something normal like, yourhair, even if you wear it that way everyday.
6. He will stick up for you.
7. He will start hanging out with your friends.
8. He will flirt with you.
9. He will call you for no good reason.
10. He will make eye contact with a serious look on his face.
HOW TO TELL IF A GIRL LIKES YOU:
1. They always talk about the different kind of guys theyCOULD have.
2. They stare at you with a smile on their face and won'tlook away until you do first.
3. They ALWAYS seem to be talking about how nice or cuteyou are.
4. They laugh at all your jokes, no matter how stupid they are.
5. They will ask you who you like, continuously.
6. They talk to your friends about you a lot.
7. They always are flirting with every other guy, except you.
8. They always try to make you jealous.
9. They beg you to do everything for them.
10. They always ask you what to do in a bad situation





i wonder wads happening to me nowadayz.. havn been sleepin well n eating well.. n alwiz having dat toopid stomachpain. tmr still got pe eh.im sick of pe.alwiz having stitches if i run.juz hates running lahz.hmm been to hosp yest.ailing's still e same.. still moving as vigorously as ever.rich went in to c her..but initially he dared not.he's afraid.yest wen we went to visit her.. she was moving bof her legs n hands.. as if she's dancing.n i saw her left leg.its immobilised wif a metal liked structure. n i saw smthg lik a wound dere. which supposedly to b a 50cents big hole.oh my.. its so terrible.n miraculously wen we were leaving, we said bye to her.. n guess wad. she actually lifted 2 of her fingers, as if signalling to us.we were so stunned.she actually can respond to us..dats terribly great!! hafta so much hmk to do..hmm been out so late e past few days my ma is getting a lit angry le.alwiz asking y m i staying out so late? haiz at home oso nuthin for me to do.juz treat it as a hotel where i cum hm to slp. feel dat dere isn any bonding or wad so ever.cos dere's lack o communication.but im trying my best. i dunno y/ but as a gemini, i dun think i lack any sense of communication.mayb jzu dat im too talkative i dun care bout others n kp talkin myself.hmm think i shld change.im a bad n notti gal.i cant alwiz make e ppl ard me listen to me. i shld lend em a listening ear instead.hmm think i've grown up? becum a lit more mature in my thinking? mayb ba. louis said so.i hoped so too.. but im still my little cutez kathie. wahahaha.. meow. hmm im missing rich.wonder wad he's doin now. wonder wads on his mind? i rellie dunno.. n im worried bout pingz.. she's like so loner now. alwiz keepin to herself. n she seems so tire nowadays..pingz r u all right? havn been seeing laiz n kh n e rest for quite sm time le.. hey everyone.. tk good care of urself k? i miss all of u alot.. how i wish we all can share a apartment n live together.. i love u all.. muahz..=)





hie guyz..im back le..juz reaches singapore..been to taiwan yest.(im dreaming)..its my beloved ahdi's burfdae yest..so i went over secretly to give him a surprise.(let me cont to dream k) hmm he was so shocked n happiez to c me.hahaz..missed him so much.he cried eh..such a cry baby..hush hush.. dun sobz..i love ady..hmm we went to a nice nice cosy place to hav a warm n delicious dinner by e sea side..its so nice..n dere wasn any1 else ard cos he made e food himself.he's so sweet..im getting diabetis soon..din rellie hav much time wif him..onli 12 hours cos he has got some promotion work to do,n i hafta return to sg.haha..i gave him a very very nice big bear bear for him to hug as me!n to think of wen he miss me.but of cos dat bear cant b compared to me..so nice n sweet n cutez.im nicer to hug of cos..he's so touched..hmm wanna hug him..haha..he's grown much thinner le.not e big n strong ady i used to know.n im so worried bout his back injuries..hope he's getting well soon..shld buy a massage chair for him liao.n his new hairstyle is great!FABULOUS..but he's alwiz shuai in my heart de..no one can ever replace him..i love u so much..HAPPIE 22 BURFDAE ADY.. muahz..

sorrie guys.. havn been dreaming for e past few months le.. juz bear wif me for this hallucination k? heheez.. thankx..juz tk it its true.. haha..fu yan me abit lahz..





If a kiss was a raindrop,
I'll send you showers.
If a hug was a second,
I'll send you hours.
If smiles were water,
I'll send you the sea.
If love can be forever,
I hope is you and me.





Just because I do not cry
doesn't mean I'm not sad
just because I don't beg you to stay
doesn't mean I want you to go
Just because I wasn't always demonstrative
doesn't mean I didn't care
but I'm not stupid
i know when a good thing gets old
and I can't keep you here
My heart would break into a thousand pieces
and rip my insides apart to have you stay
and see nothing where there once was love
and to feel the emptiness
I feel when you hold me
I am crying inside howling like an injured animal
wishing there was a magic fix a band aid
that would patch up the rift between us but,
hey, this is real not a love song or poem
where we all live happily ever after so,
let me help you with your coat
kiss you good bye reach inside myself
 when the door is closed and hold my bleeding heart





Gazing at the stars
in a dark cold night
uttering sweet words
beneath pale moonlight.
I wish you can see
I wish you can hear
I wish you can kiss
and hold me tight.
I close my eyesand
shed those tears
thinking how far
you are from me.
Then I look above
and see the stars
how they lightglitter and sparkle.
Despite how far they are by sight
I find myself smiling
as I realize.T
hat though distancebetween us
kept us apart but only in body.
And never in your heart
you gave me a reason to smile
you gave me a reason to hope
you gave me so much.
I can never ask for more
and if one thing
to thank right now
that's when you come into my life.





b0i, i dun wan y0u t0 pity me, i jus wan t0 let y0u kn0w h0w i feel after the day y0u ch0ose t0 leave me... the days when y0u are n0rt dere f0r me... h0w i wish i c0uld hug y0u 0nCe again... s0me0ne wh0m i Can t0k t0... y0u make me l0se y0u, and i fail t0 save the r/s. l0sing s0me0ne y0u l0ve, the feelings inside, w0rds jus Can't desCribe, h0w i feel.






My tears jus rolled down my cheek,
i just crawl up in the corner and hide.
I wish they could see the sadness coming from me.
You take away my love and give me pain,
i wish you would return back. As my tears keep flowing.
You held me in your arms like you loved me,
You looked me in the eyes like you cared,
You Kissed me like you wanted me,
You huged me like you missed me,
but that all went away with one goodbye.
Thank you for the love,the love that was never there.
Thank you for the memories,the memories we ever shared.
Thank you for the truth,the truth you ever told,
For all the hurt,were the things that made me cry.
And I really want to thank youfor loving me.
Because you taught me an important lesson,
that I could ever get it.I remember the day,
when we said our last goodbye.
I remember the day,when you told me not to cry.
I remember the day when you left,like it was today.
I remember the day,and the day that I will be waiting.





im not in e mood to blog nowadayz.. alwiz e same old routine early morning wakey to go sch den lessons all e way.. no time to go out shopping n gaigai..den will go down to e hospital..hate e idea of goin down.. but i'll feel uneasy if i dun.at least i know i'll b somewhere near her..she'll wake up soon.. i know.. she is so strong.. i wonder will i ever b as strong as her..thou she's small in size, i know she has a strong will to live on.. to see us..





She was not beautiful by Anonymous
She was not beautiful
Nothing about her was extraordinary
Nothing about her made her stand out in a crowd
She grew up in a family of six and
being the eldest she learned responsibility at an early age.
As she grew stronger and brighter,
she instilled a sort of light and cheer to whomever she met.
She was not beautiful,
but she made others feel better about themselves.
She meets a rebel boy who thinks he is all man
befriending him, she teaches him.
She teaches him how to read and
a little boost, the ' man' needed to go to college,
They become fast friends and she fell fast in
love with her rugged handsome student.
The ' man' then finds himself in love with a girl
A girl who was so beautiful
Her hair was a hallow of light around her
Her eyes the bluest blue of the ocean.
' Like an angel' he tells his tutor
' like a beautiful angel.'
The girl swallows a lump at her throat
She was not beautiful
She did not posses the heart of the one he loved,
but she did not care.
As long as he was happy, she would be happy,
or so she tried to.
She helped write the most beautiful letters to his angel
All the time visioning it was she herself
recieving those very letters.
And so the girl helped him choose the right clothes,
say the right words,
and buy the right gifts for his angel.
His angel brought him much joy and much pain to the
girl who cried behind her smiles.
But that never stopped her from giving more than she will ever receive.
Then one day, all of h--- broke loose
The angel he loved left him for another mn
A richer more successful man
The boy was stunned
He was so hurt, he did not speak for days
The girl went to him
He cried on her shoulder and she cried with him.
He was hurt and she was too.
Time went by and so wounds heal
The boy realizes something about his friend/tutor
Something he never realized before
How her laughter sounded heavenly and
how her smiles brightened up the darkest days,
or how simply beautiful she looked to him!
Beautiful. This plain, simple girl was beautiful to him
And he began to fall. Fall so in love with this beautiful girl
On one day, he picked up all his courage to see her
He walked to her house, nervous, and fidgeting,
Running his thoughts over and over his head.
He was going to tell her how beautiful she was to him
He was going to tell her how wonderfully in love he was with her.
He knocked.  No one was home. The next day, he found out that the
beautiful girl he fell in love with
had a brain tumor that put her into a coma.
The doctors were grim and the family decided to let her go.
One final time he got to see her
He held her hand  He stroked her hair and  he cried for this beautiful girl.
He cried, but it was too late.
The beautiful girl was buried and the heavens broke.
Out a beautiful spring shower, a cry for their loss.
She was the most beautiful girl in the world and
she had taught the rebel boy-man to love and
what it is to be loved.
She was the most beautiful girl in the world. Look around.  Isn't there a lot of plain faces?
Take a good look.  A real good look, or you might just miss out that beautiful person. Forever. I should know.... wouldn't I?





i've no mood to blog.im not in e mood to slp.whenever i close my eyes i'll c her..how she looked like..tis is terrible..i pray hard, she'll wake up soon.ailing, i miss u..quick wake up k?dun make me worry le.




haha..1st time in so many mths i manage to wake up b4 12 on a sunday morining.sho excited,but its partly bcos i cant get myself to slp somemore le.had too much 2 think bout.think yest was too exciting for me le.actually reach hm at bout 2++ den i go out to meet rich mahz. meet him ard 4 lidat den go west mall to walk ard n rot.actually wanna ask louis cum out watch movie de,but dasao not fre, hafta go to church. so another dae ba.hasn been contacting wif louis much le,think he muz b very very bz ba.hmm okiz den aft dat rich needa go tk sm things frm his sis,so hafta go to his sis hse nohz.but e thing is we boarded e wrong bus wor.haiz, been gtting on e wrong bus for e past 2 daes.cant trust rich wif directions lah.i hav a beta sense of direction.hmm get e things frm his sis le den no where to go le wor. so we juz took a bus intending to go toa payoh de.but in e end i brought him to one of my hated place bb nature reserve.its so dark n eerie..still rem e sj times where we had our nite hike n ambush teams n etc.den we walked thru e dark n haunted pathways seems so dark n eerie.got ghost i sure scream. but lucky got lights nahz.it was so tiring lor.for a gal who hates pe so much n wif no stamina.haha walk a few steps den tire like wad.haha ok e rest i shall not elaborate le. dunno wad to write..jzu kp it in my memories can le..hmm ltr muz go do hmk le.. so tire.. think o hmk i stomachache.im having a weird breakfast combi todae.guess wad.one big mug of plain water,2 bananas, 3 vitamin pills. wahaha.. think i ltr sure go bian bian de.




heyoz..juz return frm sch n makan.had listening compre early in e morn.waste my sleeping time leh,make me go sch juz for e 30 min test.wah piangz,my precious princess slp eh.haiz was still very tire, slept in e bus where ever we go.hmm yest was too tire le, so i forget to blog.hmm yest was sajc college day wor, was suppose to assemble onli at 1145 but hafta go earlie to collect e yummy pinky candy floss.. sho our whole class decorated e whole of our stall wif juz simple hearts n filled e table wif all e packets o candy floss. its sho nice!soon,e carnival started le n everyone starts swarmign ard, either tending to eir stalls or walking ard.i was sho lazy to walk as its so crowded.so i remain in e stall loading e tables wif candy floss once eir bought up..haha our candy floss too nice le lahz.. within 3o min we manage to sell all 220 packets nehz..wahaha..den aft dat i was so bored sitting at e stall, den ernest came over to tok to me cos his stall so coincidentally was juz opposite mine, so he treat me to a drink wor, sho touched! haha..den aft i gave him a pack o candy floss mahz, li shang wang lai mahz..hehez.den i ask him to pei me to walk ard e carnival since he's so free oso..we walk ard e stalls but dere seem so few stalls lor,less den 20 bah.den we walked over to jackie's stall n i wantted to do sm tatoos.. haha bad notti gurl! i did one on my ankle, one at e back o my neck n one on my face. haha ernest was saying i so enthu lidat,kp playing ard wif these kinds of things,well i like it mahz.den i saw william cuming n ask him to do e tatto too. so all of us did e tatoo.. same wan somemore.. haha..he so scare of lonely de, kp ask me to tok to him, jackie is dere mah..den ernest say wanna bring us to haunted hse, so we went over to tk a look, but dere's so many ppl lor, in e end we walk off back to jackie's stall again, n pingz n chel was dere doin eir tatoo..aft dat ernest gave me a tiny bear wor..haha sho cutez..touched again wor..haha he weird weird de,gimme e bear.n i help jackie to buy a lovely balloon cos he dare not buy scare ppl say him haha..aft dat met up wif rich n walk ard, but dere's rellie nothin to walk. so stopped to tok wif pingz n louis.soon, carnival end le wor..sho happie.. n we took a ulu bus wif no idea where its goin to end.. 166 ends at clementi,rem to alight hor.den we went to eat n find cakes but cant find al our fav cakes, so nv eat lor.haha guess wad we 3 go west coast eh.mine n pingz fav place.we reach dere at bout 6 n found a nice shady spot to sit dw n drank double choc.. its shoda delicious..den we threw rocks n talk nohz. isnt dat wad ppl alwiz do?haha den we ly down to look at e beautiful clouds n sky.dey r so blue..listening to songs n lying dw by e beach is happiness man.haha esp wif pingz n rich.how i wish time could juz stop dere.hmm but e sky muz b jealous of our happiness dat it starts torain at bout 750..haiz was drenched all e way cos its a long way back to mac to dry up.. e toilet is so small n we'r all so WET!! n i mean real WET.. u noe? wif water dripping like taps..den we dried ourself up n went hm..haiz e trip hm was so cold cos all of us were wet n shivering..haha but its a nice experience isnt it..heez.well mayb its not..i was rellie very happie yest! dunno y.. juz happie..cos its west coast eh..haha..okzi nahz.. gtg off le.. hafta go prepare to meet my dearz le.. wahaha.. nitez..




well.e time nw is basically in e wee hours o e morning.juz ended hoggin e fone wif rich cos he's goin to lalaland le.so here im to blog since i cant get to slp.hmm been getin back sm bits n pieces of common test..know dat i din do rellie well,or shld i say very badly.haiz.. expected e outcome anw.hmm lessons these days r so tire n bored.din hafta pe todae cos dan ho was in a meeting..hooray!dats wad is called happiness for me.cos i definitely hates pe.so ended up slacking in e cafe n reading rm for 3 nice n wonderful periods.hmm dere's tis weird j2 guy saying he's seen me but till now i still dunno how in e world he see me n how he look lik.so secretive xia..n nowadays i dunno wad happen,terence start msging me again le.n he's giving me sm crap stuffs.me n him r over le..long time ago..no more draggin n patching of these stupid thingy..moreover i've gotten my sweetie darling rich le..wad's wrong wif dat terence..haiz.dun care bt him le lahz.haiz mr lian leaving le.im so sadz.. he's not teaching geog anymore..im depress..he's a very very nice teacher!hmm dunno y de..these few days hasn been feeling right.alwiz having sm sorta of moodswing or wadever de.alwiz no heart to do things..think im bottled by too many things le ba..haiz i cant cry anymore le.promos are cuming in 2 mths time..i've to start all my work again, or im goin to potong pasir le..wish me luck.hmm..pingz muz tk care of ur tummy oh..i dun lik e idea of shitting in sch..its juz so uncomfortable..n im sure u feel weird too.. alwiz cuming to sch wif a problematic tummy..tk care oh.. miss ya loads..cya ltr at 645AM..i miss u rich..hav a nice n wonderful time wif lala ba..i miss all my frenz.. xiaohui bdae cuming le.. sho excited.. i miss ya gurl..muahz..




1. Guys don't actually go after good-looking girls. They prefer
neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you
afterwards.
4.When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means
you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the
first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from
stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to
sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad
characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they
sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!
13. Guys cry!!!
14 Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them,
and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never
mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually
stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when
you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a
couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this
doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not
that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about
his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone
to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he
teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight
does!
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become
too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would
be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting
involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be
matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a
lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed
pussycats with their girlfriends.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll
probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually
saying, "Please come and listen to me"
59. Guys don't really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first
sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never
be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball,
the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your
advantage.
72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of
rejection.
73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be
surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling
than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes,
he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know
them,they'll realize they're wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too
stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good
at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's
criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second
chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for
another chance,ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more
than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that
girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries
in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice
even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see
him praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!
97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact.
99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your
relationships





A YEAR AGO today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and
took the opportunity to complain to him. "Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me
any flowers?"
He raised his eyebrow.
"Why should I give you flowers? You are not my
anyone."

"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I
pouted my lips, hurt by his
tone.
"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an
e-card."
"E-card??"
That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is.

"You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I
excitedly smiled and ran
to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even
though he wouldn't use any
romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.

"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the
card!"
As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my
computer and got online.
Staring at the empty inbox, I began to reminisce
about how we met. Maybe no
one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were
actually neighbors. Our
homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were
kids, we liked to fight with
each other all day long. We were only neighbors. At
that time, I hated my
parents for making us live next to him.

At that time, I had a crush on a senior. After a
while, I found out that the
senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried
> > about it, he silently
passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in
his arms.

"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly
comforted me.
I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to
see him in a different
way. Things began to change between us. We still
fought all the time, but he
started to look at me differently. And I blushed and
my heart beat faster
when he was near.

We both knew: we fell in love with each other.

Even with this knowledge, neither of us said
anything. Even though we would
not be able to resist and kissed each other
constantly. Even though we cared
about each other's every moves. Both of us refused
to admit our love.

Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say
we loved each other. We
didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he
saw me share dinner with
a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for
me in front of my door
and said that he would take me out to dinner on
Valentine's Day from then
on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I
nodded and accepted his
request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day
together. On the
surface, we may have left each other. But in
reality, we were still
together. We spent every Valentine's Day together
but each year became more
dreary than the next because he never told me he
loved me even with all my
hints.

Still facing the empty inbox, I suddenly grew very
angry. He wouldn't say it
and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who
did he think I was? I
called his cell phone.

"Hello." He picked up the phone.

"I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my
displeasure.

"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy.
"But I sent it." He was really busy but I didn't
care.

"I didn't receive it. Send it again."

"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good
enough??" He said with
impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that
how lovers speak to
each other?

"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have
to pick me up tonight.
I'll eat dinner by myself."

"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."

"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears
rolled down my cheeks.

Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation?
We've gone out for so many
years and spent countless Valentine's Day together.
I never received any
flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a
little e-card. Is that too
much to ask for?? I unplugged the phone from the
wall and turned off my cell
phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations.

After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the
receptionist not to
forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate
on work. Because there
were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1
hour later and forgot about
our argument.

"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."
As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound
of an ambulance sounded

outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the
emergency medics hurriedly
wheeled in a gurney.

"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic.
Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on
the gurney. He was
covered with blood.

"Car accident." The medic replied.
"Very serious. He may die." I nodded and ran to the
operating room with
them.
When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had
already stopped
breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped.

"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses.

Saving people is our duty. We can't and shouldn't
lose our calm.

But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I
lost my calm. That person
was my BOYFRIEND!

"NO..." I stood in shock.

"NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously
shocked his body.
His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The
scared nurses went to find
another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.

I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted
to save my lover. Even
though we fought all the time. Even though he never
showed me his love. I
still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card.
He couldn't die! I threw
away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I
pressed with all my
strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't
wake up. He didn't even
say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes
closed, punishing me with
his silence.

Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I
couldn't see clearly
anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds
could come out of my
mouth.

"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm
sorry." Dr. Jian patted me
on the shoulder.
They knew each other and ate together once. I
introduced them.

"He can't die." I shook my head.
"He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.
"Dr. SHU, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me.
"I understand what you're going through, but you're
a doctor."

"Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person.
How can Dr. Jian
understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many
years that it's become a
habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides,
he still owed me a card.

"I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to
him again and tried to
knock the life back into his body.

"Take her away!"
That day, I lost my control and my professionalism.
And that day happened to
be Valentine's Day.

Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work
early that day. They
told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to
call me several times
but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the
hospital to find me and got
hit by a large truck on the way.

When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him.
Just because of an
unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my
privilege to be childish. Like
an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore.

After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless
of how touching the plot
or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect
me anymore.

I turned on computer after a year later, even though
I know no one will send
me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember
me on this day.

GOSH....I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored
enough to send me 100
junk mail? I was just about to delete them all when
I received another mail,
and this one said: "Because of system error, we
could not send these until
today. We apologize for the delay."

The sender was my BOYFRIEND!!! I looked at the 1st
mail. It showed the send
date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began
to beat fast. Could he
have sent these? With a trembling hand, I opened the
mail.

The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red
rose set against green
leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to
play...."Only Love". I couldn't
believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music
was so dreamy.

I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most touchin of all were the words
underneath the rose, because the words read like a
beautiful poem.
"Only love can make a memory. Only love can make a
moment last.
You were there and all the world was young and all
it's songs unsung.
And I remember you then when love was all, all you
were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."

The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely.
When he was alive, my
world was so young. Every day, I could find a
something different to fight
with him about. But after he left, my life is only
left with memories and
coldness that will never go away. When I read these
words, my tears
unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard. I replied
100 times, and "Only
Love" played 100 times.
In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been
broken for LAST ONE
YEAR finally got RECONNECTED.





I'll Always Be There

Perhaps it was juz a normal outing
Where good frens go shopping
I was nervous yet happy at first
But soon I found it easy 2 converse

My other frens juz left us alone
Knowing that it was you i admired
We sat for coffee and I started 2 relax
We talked bout our stuff & future plans

I was happi to see you
I was happi to talk 2 u
Soon i found myself feeling comfy
Yet something u said made me uneasy

U told me that u gave up on her
I thought i had a chance wif u
But u told me u admire some1 else
Oh how i felt, i was realli let down

I couldn't c wat was so good in her
Coz she gav me attitude probz
Mayb as u said, she could b leading u on
If she is doing that i'll nv let it happen

u came over & we had a great time
exploring my house and playing wif my com.
i gave u the chocs & lent u my notes
was tis the least i could do?

I bade u gdbye & told u 2 take care
Yet I said to myself i dun tink he cares
For he likes this ger who's my enemy
But wat can i do, as long as u're happi

Mayb if she's realli leading u on
I'd b sad for u but hope u move on
Hopefully u realise this fact
that ur gd fren was here all along

mayb u'll finalli realise my presence
that's wat i hope but is it possible?
would u ever wake up & tell urself
that hey my gd fren has been the one all along?

i dunno why, i juz feel this way
that u're the best guy i've came across
u're juz the type i'd realli wan
but am i the one that is suitable for u?

dun u get the hints my dear fren,
the chocs & cards & gifts & cakes
i wanna say i realli like u
yet i'm afraid of spoiling our frenship

mayb a time will den come
where we'll b more than juz gd frens
mayb it will happen i dunno
but i wanna tell u tis i Love u so...





im back..hmm todae slpet quite alot..but din rellie had a nice slp.had to turn n toss to find e nicest pose becos my ear s are swollen n bleeding in e middle of e nitex..made me wakey to attend first aid to myself..sobz sobz.but its all right aredi..decided to tk out e earrings for good.failed in e battle wif e earrings..hmmz.. well here im to update wad actually happened yest.we went to far east to hav our intended ramen,it was soda delicious..haha..but still i din finish it cos i cant finish it lah..no reason..wahaha..i ordered e spicy tom yam chicken cutlet ramen..it was rather spicy thou..n it's rellie nice.. u guys shld try it..we were deciding whether to stay n hav e waffle ice cream or to go for a walk first..in e end we went to tk neo prints n buy some shirt for lai'z future dasao..den aft dat we decided to return to hav out waffle ice cream..its so tempting..thou we'r aredi very full..wahaha..kok's order alwiz arrived e last.. haha.. den dey nv give us 2 complimentary side dish? haha..sho greedy..den aft dat lai'z gotta go fro her yoga class le.. so we left town, in search of beta places to go..no feel lik goin hm yet thou..sho we went to a place of our dream..WEST COAST PARK..den we found a secluded spot under a coconut tree to tok..well its fun thou..havn been tokin for long.we tok bout crocodiles, how we;r goin to die n stupid stuffs haha..cant believe we've such wild imagination xia..dere was loads of ppl.. ppl hill ppl sea.. understand?haha den we saw ppl fishing.. but no fishes been caught for e past 1 hours plus.. den our butts start to becum sour le so we decided to find sm proper seats instead..went to mac, want to eat de.. but e queue was tremendously long lor.. dunno where all those ppl cum from de. kok even ask me to pose as driving a car den order from e drive thru.. haha sho lame.. ppl sure luff at me, tink i crazy de..ahha den aft dat we left for home..e bus ride was extremely cold.. wen i look at e reflection machiam i nv wear anything lidat de.. funnie xia..den wen i got dw from e bus i realise dat all my toe nails becum black eh. sho power xia..haiz.. tink muz b too cold le. next time cannot wear lidat le..hmm den aft dat meet rich for a while.. den i gotta go hm le..hmm walk all e way hm.. tink im such a walking freak.. was sho tire aft e whole dae le.. still can walk so much..hha..went to e ulu park dere.. it's rather dim dere thou.. sat on e dunno called wad thing n tok for a while.. actually din tok much nahz.. shld b stoning ba..hmm..watch little mischievious kids playing ard..so late le still cum playground to play xia..ltr kanna kidnapped den know.. hmm den aft dat walk hm nohz.. n was sho tire dat i bathed quick quick n ate my dinner n watch finish e thailand movie..was too tire n i slept aft thinking for quite sm time..yawnz yawnz..i miss rich sho much.. haiz..




haha i wakey so earli wor..its sho rare i woke up b4 12..wahaha..yay! ltr goin to far east to eat ramen le!!but im so sad n dissappointed cos cant go sentosa cos so many ppl cant make it..i miss all of u so much..den todae oni got e 4 of us to eat..haiz..but nvm can wear nice nice to orchard again le.. haha den muz tk loads o pics k>.wahaha..hmm wad shld i wear ltr ne?skirt or jeans? top or tube? haha i decided to wear bikini liao.. ltr lai pingz kok dun b surprise oh.. wahaha.. hehez..yest nitex dat scary movie e eye sho frightening xia..made me freak out over e teeny weeny sound i heard..got e creeps of my bones.. haha..lucky i still manage to get myself asleep by burrowing into e blanket thou its sho warm.. wahaha..n i listen to songs to calm myself dw.. haha okiz nahz gtg le.. update ya aft my date..




i miss rich sho much..




moshi moshi,todae is another weird n funnie dae for me..was supposed to wake up earlier, but i was a pigz..so woke up at 1..den suppose to go out on a date wif rich.. but dunno y.. got hooked up wif pingz..den got dunno wadever communication breakdw. dat leads to a game of hide n seek.rich went alone to far east.den we went dw..in hope of meeting him..but he went back earlier den i tot..n we had made a wasted trip dw.well..was kinda disappointed thou.but forget it.we decided since we took such a long trip to orchard,we shldn waste it.so we intend to find things to eat so as to make us think dat our trip dw wasnt useless n fruitless..we went to manie manie 7 elevens to check out e cheesecake..but dere's no my fav LEMON CHEESECAKE..but we went to other places in e hope of finding nicer n more delicious cakes! but we walk for very very long but still din find any cheesecake dat i lik..in e end.. our trip was wasted still, took bus back to lot 1 again..cos we tot dere shld b more food dere.n lesser ppl..went to buy e poisonous octopus ball. but ping'x order took so long.. i almost finished my balls le den she got hers.. ahha who ask u order octopus de?prawns wan sodda delicious..den went to get out cheesecake, n went mac to buy mac nugget meal..din care bout diet le lah.. todae juz wasn in e mood for dieting..den so manie ppl wor.. sho we went to our fav dirty hangout of blk 343 void deck to hva out feast dere..it was so maluing lor.. so many ppl seeing 2 p[igz eating at e void deck.. machiam sho delicious lidat..it was so full.. e cheesecake was nice thou.. but was sick of it aft a few mouthful..n i made a new invention of tiramisu n strawberry cheesecake wor..haha.. but it was so creamy n yucky i agree wif pingz..haha hu ask me alwiz loves to play wif leftover food..hu ask me to b a CAT..haha by den its aredi 7plus le.. den we tok n tok till its dark den we went hm le..n pingz say she wanna bianbian.. n i ask her to ren till hm den da bian.. cos she alwiz ask me to ren wan..now its ur turn..haha.. hope it din cum out.. next time got constipation problem den u noe ar..i wanna go dabian but lik nuthin to da bian wan to cum out lidat..so i decided to let nature tk its own course..dat toopid pingz nahz.. ask me to gekz.. haha.. ltr face green green..ahha todae nitez got e eye..so exciting.. i found companion le.. my sis n her bf..wahahaha.no nid to scare le..wow..hmm my ear bleeding again le..dunno y nowadays kp bleeding de.. tink its cos o e earrings..but its soda nice i cant bear to tk it out..hmm im jzu goin to it bleed for all it wants..okix..tink dat shld b all for todae le ba..haha..nitex nitex..i miss every1..ady,rich,pingz,laiz, kokz,jackie,amy,dal,xiaohui,yanxi...every1 muz tk care oh?gambate nehz..niteyz..muackz.




wahahaha.. juz woke up frm my princess slp.sho bhb.. cant stand myself either..haha..todae is a bad dae for me..duno wad things i ate wrong or wad..i was havign dinner wen my stomach ache so badly i had to go toilet..stayed i ndere for 30 min ba..sho painful! tot i goin to die.. haiz next time i no wan to give birth le.. sure more painful den tis de..sobz..went to meet laiz amy n meimei at bugis juz now. din do much lor.. walk ard n rot n catch up wif each other..miss all of em so much.. but i was so tire.. my legs was so sour..alwiz feel lik sitting dw..todae's chinese was rather hard..din noe alot but tink can pass very happie le.. ys even fail eh.. throw my face..den we gotta arrange back e chairs for normal sch time.. den dat big fat idiotic ms k kp scolding us.. wad an evil freak..hope she hurry break her bones n stop complainign again..wahahaha..hmm din c jackie ard much these days, todae c him den lik miss him liao.. haha.. was so tire todae..den went hm to slp.. den i actually met siva eh..ahha long time no c him le.. tot y weird weird de got one bangladesh cum to tok to me. wahahaha..haha he seem rather tire oso..den came hm to slp for 1 hr plus..hmm actually tot todae got e eye de..haha but in fact its tmr lor. made me excited over nuthin..hmm..kok hsien say i weird weird de.. i got mehs? dun tink i got ar..i stil le same old kat mah.. alwiz fighting n todae decided to dig lai's n ping's butt.. dey beta b careful.ahha todae so happie.. got to eat cheesecake wor.. but not nice de lor.. haha next time i make myself.. sure very very nice de.. haha actually tot o making one for louis on his bdae de.. but i no time.. sorry louis..haha next time i make le i treat every1 eat.. not nice oso muz fu yan me say nice leh.. if not i dun make for ur to eat liao.. muz make me happie mahz..hmm dunno y suddenly got e urge to go west coast..haha.. wanna go pingoz?go n relished ur dreams of dat fateful nite.. dat lei dian jiao jia de ya wan.. wahahaha.. n dat dirty stinko beach..wahahaha..miss so many ppl.. wish i gonna hav a nice dream tonight.. miss louis miss pingz miss rich miss laiz miss myself miss my daddy(in thailand)miss ady(aka lao gong)..muackz..




its onli 2 hrs after i've blog n here im again..i cant conc on studying.. i've no mood..im sad.. im sickz..i wan to play..nobody play wif me..i love pingz.. i love laiz..i love all my frenz.. im suffering frm lovesick/frensick disease..




heyz! im here to blog again.e time is 839pm now.. n im STARVED!! haiz not e first time anyw.din behave like last time.. nuthin to eat at hillgrove den cry..sobz sobz..waiting for ma to return b4 got things to eat..haha tmr got chinese test eh.havn study a single thingy yet..hope i doesnt get too poor a result..tink i goin to study ltr? since tmr's e last paper, i shall not tk it lightly ba.. juz try to do e best..cos its my fav sub among all! no stress de..hmm wad shall i say now.. todae went to watch spidy..hmm tink its too xciting for me le, tis kind of english movies.. tink i beta stick to my horror movies.. dere's one cuming up in august i tink.. heard its SCARY!!well.. din do much todae.. slp till 11 den wakey wor.. den 6 lidat return hm..been slacking ard??? too much le lah..been tinking alot o things..shall i? or shall i not?i tink i've been too dependent.. i shall b on my own again..i shld stop relying on others n stop irritating others ok katherine!its a bad habit.. n ur making urself getting into in deeper n deeper n faster den u expect it to..stop torturing urself..u noe wad u want..yah.. i guess i noe..i shall make tis decision.. if some1 else is agreeable.. todae ask pingoz cum out watch movie..tink she todae mood swinging again.. dunno issit becos auntie nv look for her..give me "short n sweet" replies de.. felt dat i shldn frustrate her further.. yah.. kat did any1 tell u dat ur irritating? now i shall tell u.. n u shall becum austistic!hmm.. dun tink so much le.. go wait for dinner delivery le.. bubbaiz..
sadded maomao-mei

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